went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
