nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My vagina just recognized that song.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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