how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize