if we break up, who will get the dealer?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
