Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
