there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
