I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
