there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
