margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
