no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
