Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
