But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
