Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
