It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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