After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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