2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize