If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
