I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize