just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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