Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I bet he comes in French.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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