forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
