but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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