she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm like, not good at living.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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