But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
