Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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