Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
