people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
