Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Randomize
