I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
