Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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