Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
