so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
