really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's just like the Real World with babies
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he fucked my hip out of place.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
