There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
