that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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