are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just want nice things and good sex
Randomize
