i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
