zippers are such a cool invention
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
