There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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