I hate all girls vehemently.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
