we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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