Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize