remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
