There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
