U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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