I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
