you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize