Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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