She is in my trunk
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize