mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
