Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
