Non-Jews are for practice
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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