wrigley field is MILF paradise
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
