ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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