i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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