we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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