Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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