I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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