Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
