I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize