I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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