I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
