it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize