The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
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